By Dudline Pierre
In recent months, college students are getting involved in relationships that aren’t actual relationships. With the high demands of college, many students find themselves being with someone without actually having to deal with the stresses of a relationship. Many college students have full time jobs and are full time students, taking up to five classes. To add a relationship to the equation seems a bit excessive. Nowadays, students with all these responsibilities get into situations where they deal with a partner or many partners without having to make any commitments.
In the past, it has been said that the man is the one who doesn’t want to commit in a relationship. These days many women aren’t up for the commitment either. “I think our generation has been through too much and people are scared”, says Chantal Castanon, a 22 year old John Jay student. Her take on the issue is that women often have a fear of getting hurt, so they’d rather keep the relationship as simple as possible. A “situationship” can be seen as an agreement between the two people involved. Both have an understanding of each other’s needs, but also keep their distances.
Another view on situationships is that they are a form of sexual relief. After a long week of exams and writing, college students just want to make the stress of their studies go away. “I just worked and studied all week, it’s the weekend I want to get loose,” says Chantal. During the week, her and her “partner” speak rarely if at all, as they are so caught up with their day to day lives. When they get some free time, they contact each other, spend a little time together and then go back to their individual single lives. In their four years of college, students are attempting to find themselves and their purposes.
Carlos Garcia, 21, is another student at John Jay who believes that people our age aren’t sure about what they want. He says that, “college is the point in life between being an adult and a kid.” His view is that college students are confused. Garcia also says that in college, students—particularly men are encouraged to be free, party and have multiple sexual partners. These students use college as an excuse to not settle down with one person.
“How does together feel so alone, like I’m a stranger in my own home.” This line is from a song titled, “Situationships” by rapper Fabolous. Situationships can be seen as the new way of defining relationships for today’s generation and are even influencing musical artists. One can see that the concept of a situationship is not only affecting those in the college environment, but people who do not attend college as well. Though situationships are a form of free attachment, there are often times where the people involved want something more. The idea of a situationship is to be able to do what you want at no costs, while essentially dating someone. But there are some young adults who still take the idea of a relationship seriously.
Joneal Mason is a 19 year old who attends Queensborough Community College. She has been involved in situationships and said that “though it sounds ideal for a busy college student, I would rather have the real deal.” Mason doesn’t like the fact that the person has the leeway to do whatever they want with whomever they want and she doesn’t have the right to be upset about it. After her past experiences, she says that getting attached to someone you know isn’t yours is unhealthy mentally, physically and emotionally.
Girardin Mondesir is a 20 year old student at Hunter College who feels the same. He suggests that people put themselves in a trap and end up chasing something that isn’t there. Mondesir feels that those who choose to involve themselves in a situationship have a lack of maturity. “It’s a taste of paradise being away from the books, but it gets you nowhere almost always.” The pressures from work and school allow for college students to want to have a freeing feeling. According to these college students, they want the relations without having to carry the burdens of a relationship. Essentially, they want to enjoy themselves away from the responsibilities of life at no one’s expense. Situationships are a way for students to have fun, experiment with what they want and grow as young adults.